That Gift Would Have Been Enough

Thursday August 20, 2026

By Laura Ornest

In July, Harvard professor Dr. Karen Thornber invited me to visit her summer school zoom class where she screened OUTSIDER to some 20 undergrad students from all over the world. The class was COMP S-120: Disease, Illness, and Health Through Literature. OUTSIDER was now in the company of Tolstoy’s “The Death of Ivan Ilyitch” and Dr. Jeremy Nobel’s book “Project Unlonely”.

I was humbled and honored that Dr. Thornber thought so highly of Maury’s story, and our story, to include OUTSIDER in her syllabus. That gift would have been enough.

During the post-screening zoom Q & A I was moved and impressed by the depth of students’ curious questions to me, and their open and heartfelt reactions to Maury’s struggles and our family’s struggles. That gift would have been enough.

Then, a few days ago, Dr. Thornber wrote to tell me that several of her students were so touched and inspired by OUTSIDER that they chose the documentary as the focus for their final project. The prompt for the project was to build on one of the course readings/films, imagining a future scene, using the class readings/films as a foundation. And, with the permission of the students, without including their names, Dr. Thornber sent me the stories 3 students wrote.

Each story is imaginative, thoughtful, and profound. I would love to share with you all three stories, but it would take too long. I do want to share parts of this one though. It begins with…

Laura Ornest wondered what it would be like to be a flying baseball-fish. Looking at her brother Maury’s paintings, she imagined it would be somewhat freeing, to fly in the air with the speed of a well-hit baseball all while retaining a fish-like control of movement. Maybe that was why Maury liked them so much, she wondered to herself. And so, on busy days, she pretended to be exactly that: a free, wild, yet seemingly in control, baseball-fish. And today was indeed one of those busy days, which indeed prompted her to harness her inner fish as she walked through the gallery of Maury’s paintings. Maury would have loved to see this she mused to herself, as she flew off to tell the eager gallery viewers about her brother’s art.

*****

Standing in the middle of the art gallery, Caroline Simmons thought about her life. It would be safe to say that she had been through a lot. It had all been so innocuous. Just a droopy eyelid and her husband’s insistence that he “was fine”. A droopy eyelid! Oh how ordinary! Did she not too get the occasional droopy eyelid after a long work day? And yet she had known then and there that he wouldn’t be fine, she could feel it in her gut, that that very day would mark a turning point in their lives: a life before, and an “after-life” as Annabelle Gurwitch had described in her book, The End of my Life is Killing me. Caroline looked at the painting before her. Did the eyes look droopy? They look droopy. It made her think of her husband. Oh god were these poor baseball fish creatures sick too? She kept looking at the droopy eye and…and…the droopy eye—was it droopy? The droopy eye the droopy, the droopy… “It’s a nice painting isn’t it? I’m Laura. My brother, Maury, painted it,” Laura approaches Caroline.

After a long and deeply personal conversation between the author’s “Laura” and “Caroline” where they talk about death, caregiving, and illnesses that bring personality changes, the student’s story ends with this…

And so, the two women looked outside through the gallery windowpane. And the sun had fallen. And the sky was dark. The gallery was empty and quiet. Something they hadn’t noticed before. They realized they had been talking for much longer than they realized. The women look back at the painting. “I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be a flying baseball fish. Must be freeing don’t you think, to fly in the air like that” Laura says. And Caroline knew that her life would continue to be difficult. And even after sharing all her thoughts and feelings, she knew her husband would not get better and she would not have the life that she imagined. And yet, in that moment looking at the painting, Caroline didn’t see the droopy eyes, but saw, instead the flying fish. “You can have it if you want, a gift from Maury and me” Laura whispers. And so, Caroline takes the painting home.

The fictional “Laura” may have given the fictional “Caroline” a gift of Maury’s painting, but the Harvard student who wrote this story gave the real Laura a gift I could have never imagined receiving. It started with the gift Maury left, through his art and journals, which led to our 40-minute documentary, OUTSIDER. Our goal has been to foster conversation, compassion and connection for those facing mental illness. That’s been happening. 

It has been a dream of mine to show the movie to high school students, college students, and med students. That is starting to happen. But I never dreamed that students would be inspired by Maury’s challenges, honesty, creativity and courage to write their own creative stories. AND the author of one of those stories gave me a super power. So now, on days and moments when I feeI feel sad or insecure and small I can harness that inner fish, imagining myself as a free, wild, yet seemingly in control flying baseball fish.

Thank you.